Posts
All the articles I've posted.
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This is the hard part.
SubstackA week after my stress fracture diagnosis, I crutched around Leadville 100, putting on a brave face (ok, failing but trying). Many wonderful people came up to me and said something along the lines of…
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So this is 40
SubstackMy dad's 40th birthday is emblazoned into my brain: the black decorations, the cake napkins that read "over the hill," the tombstone cake topper, the constant jokes that he was officially old. To an…
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Please believe me
SubstackAn hour after I arrived at the residential treatment facility in Carlsbad, I asked a staff member where the restroom was. “I have to go with you,” she said. As I started to enter the daisy yellow…
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Broken Femur, Broken Heart
WordPressThe other week I started writing about the feelings that came with my most recent stress fracture. As with any injury, my mind replayed all the reasons, all the decisions, everything that I could…
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Eggs on Ice: My Experience with Egg Freezing
WordPressIn February of this past year, I had a moment of panic. I was 37, recently single, and facing down the realization that if I wanted kids, my window may be passing. I wrote an entire piece for Outside…
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Running and Competing While in Eating Disorder Recovery
WordPressIn a journal entry from December 2018, I asked myself: “Can I be an athlete AND be in recovery from an eating disorder?” The rest of the page was blank. I didn’t have an answer. And not having the…
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Reflections on a Year in Recovery
WordPressIt’s been a year since I was discharged from Opal Food and Body after entering intensive eating disorder treatment for my third and hopefully last time. A year since I hit publish on a blog where I…
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Navigating Eating Disorder Recovery During a Global Pandemic
WordPressAs I chatted with a friend on FaceTime the other week, I made the joke: “I dunno…maybe the silver lining of this pandemic is it will cure me of my e
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The State of Things: Fear, Anxiety, and Balancing Mental and Physical Health
WordPressWhen I was 6 years old, if I couldn’t get to sleep by 7:30pm, I would start crying hysterically. I was convinced I was going to die if I couldn’t fa
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2019: A Year of Rebirth
WordPressOn paper, 2019 probably looks like a rough year for me. Fractured calcaneus two weeks before the Barkley Marathons (making that four stress fracture
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Big’s Backyard Ultra: Just What I Needed
WordPressRunning Big’s Backyard Ultra was a gamble for me: it’s not exactly an easy race to return to as my first ultra in over a year since injury, undergoi
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Let’s Talk About Our Feelings
WordPressI was a colicky baby. A temperamental child. I was prone to tantrums, and expressed myself violently through a wide range of emotions. I felt, and I
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Where Do I Go From Here? The Ever-Evolving Relationship with Sport
WordPressSeptember is a month that brings up a lot of feelings for me. It’s the start of the championship season for obstacle racing, with Spartan Race World Championships kicking it off. It’s a month for me…
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Our Bodies, Our Responsibility, and the Media
WordPress(Content warning: This post contains my thoughts and feelings around my body and pictures of me. There are no numbers, behaviors, or weights.) In ea
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The Recovery I Needed
WordPressIn March, after sustaining my fourth stress fracture in the past three years, I wrote that it was time to take a step back and re-evaluate – to stop
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Don’t Fight the Water
WordPressWhen I first started swimming, I couldn’t understand why it was so hard. I knew there were probably a million reasons for it (my last swimming lesso
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2018: The Year of Letting Go
WordPressSeveral months ago, I had a long conversation with one of my best friends from law school. “Amelia,” she said, “You are really good at holding on to
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The 2018 Barkley Marathons: Confidence through Failure
WordPressMy training log entry the day before the 2018 Barkley Marathons read: “Once that cigarette is lit, I’m going to race my little brains out. Give it all my all, and give it hell.” I’ve never been one…
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A Year of Return to Running Logs
WordPressSeveral months ago, I promised that I would share my return to running logs for those interested, not thinking that anyone would actually want to se
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2017: A Year of Rediscovering Joy
WordPressI’ve talked a lot how I do a lot of my runs to a single song on repeat – past favorites include everything from Smashing Pumpkin’s “Tonight Tonight”